Unhelmed
by Blutane
Summary: The perfect place to expose a superhero is at his own celebration. And that's just what Videl intends to do. An entry for the SweetestIrony Contest.


**Author's Note:** As was stated in the summary, this story is an entry for the SweetestIrony Contest, the theme being Festival. This also happens to be my first fic on this site. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, you know how this goes.

* * *

"Don't…don't tell me that's the only reason you wanted to come, Videl. Are you serious?"

"Of course I'm serious," said Videl, giving Erasa an exasperated look. "He's the whole reason that this festival is even going on right now, so he's bound to be here. And when I find him, that little trash can on his head will be the first thing to go."

_This whole thing is absurd anyway_, thought Videl. The town committee must have been drinking or something when they decided to have a celebration for a hero who hadn't even been around for a month yet. After all, they'd never had a festival for _her_… And she was Mr. Satan's daughter, as well as a competent crime fighter! Yet here she was, along with Erasa and Sharpner, smack in the middle of the 1st Annual Great Saiyaman Festival, walking around rather aimlessly. Nearly every booth and ride was adorned with some sort of green, black, red, or orange ribbon. Children ran around the grounds with makeshift orange helmets atop their skulls. Laughter pervaded the area as everyone celebrated their real-life superhero.

Videl hated all of it.

"But Videl, it's a festival!" pleaded Erasa. "This is supposed to be fun and exciting! If you go charging around here making a scene about unmasking him, you're going to ruin the mood."

"I'm not going to ruin anything. I just think the public has a right to who its so-called hero is." Well, that was partly true. The truth of the matter was that Videl knew that this Saiyafellow was attempting to upstage her, for whatever reason. She would just have to beat him to the punch.

"If you ask me-"

"But no one asked you, Sharpner," said Videl.

"-I think it's a waste of time to be worrying about that geek." Sharpner continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "Erasa's right, we should just relax and be glad that we're not in school."

"Yeah," said Erasa, "but you know, I think it would have been nice if Gohan were here, too." She rounded on Videl. "Why didn't you invite him to come?"

"Why would I… If you're so concerned about it, why didn't _you_ invite him?"

"Because it was hard enough getting you to come here in the first place! That is, until you thought up your brilliant ulterior motive. I didn't want to risk having you back out. I don't understand why you don't like him. He's such a sweet boy! And smart too!" Videl groaned and shook her head. Discussions about Gohan always ended up like this, yet for some reason the topic always came up. She'd already explained to Erasa numerous times that strange things always seemed to happen with this boy, like his incredible athletic feats, and that whole Angela thing, whatever that was. Videl knew that he was hiding something besides baby-like boxers, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Don't you realize that it's just an act?" she said. "He's probably just as bad as Sharpner, he just hides it better."

"You do know that I'm right here next to you guys, right?" scowled Sharpner. He deftly swiped some kid's ice cream cone as the child stared at a giant cardboard incarnation of Saiyaman. "What makes me so bad, anyway?"

"You mean besides what you just did there? The fact that it was you who went into the girls' locker room last week and stole Bindee's panties," answered Videl.

"I…Look, I told you not to tell anyone about that. But mountain boy would never think of doing anything like that." Sharpner smirked as he added, "He may be book smart, but he's naïve as hell."

"Oh come on," said Erasa, "you have to give Gohan more credit than that! He's been homeschooled his whole life. I think he's been getting along quite well."

"If you can call getting caught with your pants down 'getting along'," snickered Sharpner.

"Listen, can we please stop talking about Gohan?" asked Videl. Just saying his name her feel uneasy; he had to be hiding something. "I'll dig the skeletons out of his closet later. Right now, I need to focus on the task at hand, which is-"

"Finding Saiyaman, exposing him, ruining a festival, blah blah blah," finished Erasa. "Could we at least visit some of the attractions first?"

Videl sighed. "Yeah, fine."

* * *

About an hour later, the three friends sat on a bench, each of them eating a cone of cotton candy that was decked out in a wonderful Saiyaman palette.

"I can take the banners and the helmets, but this is ridiculous," said Videl, looking warily at her confectionary.

"You're still going to eat it, though," said Erasa.

"Well, yeah, it's not like I'm fasting or anything…"

"I didn't even know they could make black colored cotton candy," said Sharpner, before shoving his entire portion into his mouth at once. Erasa gave him a pained look before turning back to Videl.

"You have to admit, though, you've been having fun at this thing."

"I have not."

"Yes you have!"

"Have not."

"Have too!"

"Nope."

"Yes you… Fine! I'm not going to play this game anymore!" Erasa slunk down on the bench. "Deep down inside you know you're having the time of your life."

"Whatever you say, Erasa." Videl scanned over her surroundings for the umpteenth time. It was true that the afternoon had been pleasant enough, what with so many different things to do, but that didn't mean that she'd give up on her mission. So far, however, she hadn't had any luck in finding the elusive hero.

"You know, I just thought of something," said Sharpner, pulling out a bag of peanuts from his pocket.

"I'm sure that took a lot of effort," said Videl. Sharpner shot her a glare before continuing.

"I was thinking that maybe Saiyaman has no idea that this carnival is even here. I mean, it was sort of a rush job, after all, and there wasn't much advertising."

Videl looked up pointedly as several screams of delight were emitted from a nearby roller coaster, which was aptly named 'The Saiyaman Screamer.' "I don't know if I'd call this a rush job, Sharpner. Some of these rides are as overdone as the Man himself."

"Well… Okay, you kinda have a point there, but there really wasn't much advertising. He probably spends too much time with his head in the clouds, if you know what I mean, to listen to a radio or something." Sharpner chuckled at his little joke, and Videl just rolled her eyes.

"Hey you guys, what do you think is happening over there?" Erasa had suddenly sat up on the bench and was pointing toward something in the distance. Sharpner and Videl looked to where she was pointing. A large assembly of people had gathered around a raised wooden platform in the middle of the grounds, upon which a tall figure with a conspicuous helmet and a long red cape was flourishing around rather wildly.

"Looks like I was wrong," said Sharpner. "Saiyadork is here after all."

"Perfect!" Videl shot up from her seat. "I've been waiting for this all day. Listen, you two run interference; I've got a hero to unhelm." And without another word, she raced off toward the crowd.

"Wait! Videl!" yelled Erasa. "What about the festival?! What about our fun?! What about… Wow, she's really fast."

"What exactly does she mean by 'run interference'?" asked Sharpner as he applied mustard to his hot dog.

"I really have no idea… Wait a minute, weren't you just eating peanuts?"

Videl stealthily prodded her way through the throng of excited onlookers. It was the one time she was grateful for her lack of skeletal altitude. No one noticed her as she crept closer to the stage, but it wouldn't have mattered if she were tall anyway. All eyes were on Saiyaman as he engaged in his trademark justice routine. Videl was only a few feet away from him as he entered into his final pose and delivered his famous line.

"I, AM, the GREAT, SAI-"

_Now!_

With lightning speed, Videl leapt up from the crowd and onto the stage. Her outstretched hands locked onto the bright orange helmet, and with one swift motion, she yanked it off of Saiyaman's head. When she saw the face of her self-appointed rival, her eyes widened. The audience gasped. Erasa hid her face behind her hands. Sharpner choked on his mouthful of popcorn. The Great Saiyaman had been revealed, and he was…

…kind of old.

"I cannot believe that she just did that," said Erasa, peeking out at the scene from between her fingers.

"Are you kidding me? This might be the most entertaining thing I've seen all day," said Sharpner. "I just hope Videl didn't give that guy a… what do you call it… a myocardinal infraction?"

"Just say heart attack next time… and where did you get that popcorn?!"

"Excuse me, miss," squealed the Saiyasenior, "but just what do you think you're doing?" Now that he wasn't doing his routine, his voice was rather reedy. The hair surrounding his cranial cul-de-sac was pure white. He seemed to be breathing rather heavily, and Videl noticed that his physique looked less built than she remembered. Not that she would ever admit to looking at Saiyaman's physique.

"I, um," she stammered, "I just wanted to see, uh… Aren't you a little old to be doing this whole superhero thing?"

"Oh, the nerve of some people!" The man snatched the helmet back from Videl. "Do you honestly think that the Great Saiyaman has time to come here and deal with overzealous fans and pushy little vagabonds such as yourself?" Videl stared at him for a moment before she realized what he was saying.

"So you…you're not the real Saiyaman?"

Saiyasenior let out a cry of frustration, threw his helmet at the ground, and stomped off of the stage, pulling at the hair still clinging to his head and muttering something about the younger generation.

Everything was quiet for a moment before someone in the audience said, "I guess the show's over. Why don't we all go…somewhere that isn't here." At those words, the crowd dispersed from the area as quickly as they had assembled, some of them throwing furtive glances over their shoulders at Videl, who was still standing on the platform. The pigtailed girl sank slowly to her knees.

"It…It wasn't really him…"

"Videl! Are you all right?" said Erasa, as she and Sharpner came toward the platform.

"It wasn't the real Saiyaman…"

"I told you that he wasn't going to be here," said Sharpner. "You know, you should really start taking my advice. If you want," he smirked, "I can help you get over the humiliation."

"Over your dead body, Sharpner. And quit eating nachos at me! I'm depressed!"

"Gosh, are you all right, Videl?" asked a familiar voice.

The trio of teens jumped slightly at the sound and turned toward its source. A young man with short, spiky black hair was walking toward them, carrying what looked like every prize you could possibly win at the festival in a bag slung over his shoulder.

"Oh Gohan!" squeaked Erasa. "You're actually here! Were you watching what just happened?"

"Yeah, I saw… I'm sorry that your unmasking didn't go as you planned, Videl. Maybe you'll get him next time!" Videl glared at him.

"What exactly are you doing here, Gohan?" she asked icily.

"And why are you robbing the festival? Are you planning on starting some sort of collection?" asked Sharpner, eyeing the oversized sack.

"Robbing the festival? Oh! You mean these prizes." Gohan laughed nervously. "You see, I'm here with my little brother, and he's…um, he's really good at carnival games!"

"Aw, you brought your little brother here with you? That's so adorable!" Erasa looked around. "I'd like to meet him, where is he?"

"He said he was hungry…he might have gone over to that weird rice booth near the entrance…"

"Oh man, that sounds good," moaned Sharpner. "I'm gonna go get some of that. See you guys later."

"Sharpner! Get back here!" Erasa went after him. "Do you know how much food you've eaten since you've been here?!"

The two blondes walked away, leaving Videl still kneeling on the wooden platform, with Gohan looking at her peculiarly.

"You know, if you take a picture, it'll last a lot longer," said Videl.

"Oh, um, I'm sorry," said Gohan, a twinge of pink appearing on his cheeks. "It's just…are you planning on sitting there for the rest of the day?"

"Yes, I always allow myself at least five hours of uninterrupted self-pity time when something goes wrong."

"Ah…well, Videl," Gohan began, but then he laughed. "Wow, that rhymed… Anyway, I really am sorry that you seem so upset about this, but did you honestly think that the Great Saiyaman had time to come here and deal with-"

"Look, why don't you find someone else to bother?" interrupted Videl. "I really don't need your support." The last thing she needed right now was to lectured by a boy who had tendencies as strange as his hair. Instead of walking away, however, Gohan placed his big bag of goodies on the ground and started rummaging through it. "Now what are you doing?" Videl asked.

"Just a sec." Gohan went even deeper into the sack, obscuring almost half of his body.

"You know, I'm not going to be able to save you if you get buried in there alive."

"I just need to find something… Aha!" Gohan reemerged from the bag, clutching a small stuffed dinosaur. He held it out to Videl. "Here you go. I was going to give this to you tomorrow, but I guess you need it now."

"What? I… I don't understand." Videl felt her cheeks growing hot. "Why would you give anything to me in the first place? We're not exactly best buds or anything."

"But we could be!" said Gohan. "Er…what I mean is, this is…this is sort of like a peace offering. To show that you…you don't have to be suspicious of me or anything." He smiled brightly. Videl stared at him for a moment before feeling her inner defenses cave in.

"I... Thanks, Gohan," she said, taking the plaything from his hand. "It's really nice of you to give this to me, considering how mean I always am to you. I'll…try and cut you some slack from now on, okay?"

"Okay!" He held out his hand again. "There's still plenty of time left until the festival ends. Why don't we find the others and make the most of it?" Gohan's smile was contagious; Videl found herself grinning back at him as she took his hand and was led off of the wooden platform.

"Before we go though, I have to tell you something," she said.

"What's that?" Gohan asked, as he picked up his prize bag.

"I really am going to cut you some slack." Videl looked up at him before changing her innocent smile into a rather menacing smirk.

"But I'm still going to find out what you're hiding."

"You're kidding me!"


End file.
